newpeermin

BEHAVIORS

JAN

FEB

MAR

APR

MAY

JUN

JUL

AUG

SEP

OCT

NOV

DEC

Abuse

Alcohol / Drug Misuse

Cutting and Self-Harm

Dealing with Authority

Depression

Eating Disorders

Faith Exploration

Family Issues

Grief

Peer Pressure

Physical Health

Relationship Struggles

Self-Worth or Image

Sexually Risky Behaviors

Stress

Suicidal Thoughts

Values Clarification

Anger / Violent

BEHAVIORS

JAN

FEB

MAR

APR

MAY

JUN

JUL

AUG

SEP

OCT

NOV

DEC

Gift named – expressing a person’s value

Invited someone to be included (e.g. lunch table)

Invited someone to come to an event or gathering

Served a stranger with an act of kindness

Went out of your way to talk with or visit

Welcomed & Greeted

W.H.E.A.T.ed”

Recognizing that very few youth remain active  in churches, we strive to be an extra ordinary congregation by making intentional efforts to help youth find meaning, belonging, purpose and hope in our church.

One of our efforts is to train adults of all ages and from all corners of our congregation to be affirming, relational advocates.

The results will…

…be an expanding congregational culture that values and includes our youth.

…be youth who value and remain active in church.

…expand beyond our congregation into families and throughout our community.

Affirming adults become intentional observers of the positive behaviors and gifts in youth, finding opportunities to personally name these traits and gifts.

Every adult ministry group in our congregation will receive an invitation to give one of their meeting times over during the next year to a Full Circle trainer.

Lead pastor and church leadership will highlight the importance of this invitation.

First groups will include the church staff and congregational leadership. Following groups, such as the choirs, the quilters, various Bible study groups, and all others, will be included.

Training is based on the curriculum, “Full Circle Relationships.” (See www.peerminsitry.org “Store”) One hour group sessions will include elements of session one, that helps name the importance of faith forming relationships, and session three on effective ways to be a gift namer.

To learn this training, a person from Peer Ministry Leadership will lead us in a one day training  of trainers.

After Full Circle Training, follow-up will include short devotions with opportunities to share story highlights stemming from the use of skills learned in the training.

Story highlights will also be shared in newsletters, church services, and video clips on church website.

Training participants will receive a set of baseball style cards with a picture, a name, and  a quote about church experience of each youth. (pending parent approvals). Cards can also be used as personal prayer reminders.

Trained groups will receive an appreciation tray of cookies [AND?] cards highlighting and reminding participants of their ministry as gift namers.

 One year from the beginning of the project, after 12 to 15 adult groups have participated in the training, we will have a celebration worship, led by youth who will highlight various adult faith forming angels in their lives.

Ask your students the following. Listen closely. The responses will give you crucial implications for your ministry.

How many of you know someone…

• whose family is going through changes because of divorce or separations?
• who struggles because of over use or abuse of alcohol or drugs?
• who is grieving recently because of the death of someone?
• who lives with more depression than others?
• living without enough means, even homeless?
• that you have had a conversation with who has considered suicide?
• struggling in a bad relationship?
• treated poorly by others? Bullied?
• maybe bullied because of their sexuality?
• self-harming, cutting?
• who has an eating disorder?
• who has had a conversation with someone thinking about suicide?

We could go on with many more issues.

If your students are like most, lots of hands will go up. Peer Ministry Leadership is about caring, welcoming and affirming people. PML will not teach participants how to fix or solve issues. It is going to teach how to be a friend who doesn’t walk away or ignore people when life’s issues get tough. It is also going to teach ways for guiding friends to resources and resource people who can help.

We want to create a ministry culture that says all are welcome. This is a place of grace. This is a place where no matter what life is bringing, be it great joys or devastating hurts, all are excepted. We are a safe place, with safe people, having safe conversations. We intentionally listen and support each other.

That kind of culture will not come through talks or preaching. It will come by learning and reinforcing real life caring skills. Peer Ministry Leadership is about giving skills, the  skills for loving others, because Christ first loved us.(I Jn 4:19) These are the skills for, “Going and doing likewise.” (Luke 10, Good Samaritan Story)

Peer Ministry training is not just another event, or the newest church fad. Peer Ministry Leadership is a long lasting, culture shifting, purpose producing, life-giving and even life-saving way of equipping people for an every day, everywhere and every relationship practical way of living ministry.

As an organization, Peer Ministry Leadership works with youth ministries of all denominations. We believe that youth, as peers, directly influence the faith and lives of other teens. We also believe they can shape the faith and lives of their own families. This belief in the training of relational skills has extended our ministry into direct family ministry. 

Skills: “Skills result in change.” I remember Dr. Varenhorst, one of my mentors, driving that statement into my own DNA. Speeches, lessons, even sermons, seldom result in faith and life change. Most people respond to such methods much like responding to a Facebook post. We hear a speaker and say, “I liked that,” similar to clicking a Facebook Like button, then quickly moving on and forgetting. If you want change, be direct. Practice repeatable skills.

I was drawn to Peer Ministry Leadership because I could see the results. PML gives specific skills for real life and faith that youth use daily. Not only were youth caring more for other youth, leading in our ministries, but I also started hearing parents say things like, “What are you doing to my kid? We are having different kinds of conversations at home.” Youth shape their families. I had always assumed it was only the parents who shaped their youth.

After working on the skill of using questions to allow others to tell their story, a young girl said she practiced this skill with her dad. She did not live with him, so laid out some examples of story questions, called him on the phone, and proceeded to have a conversation with her dad. She told the group, “We talked for three hours last night,” she said. “I never talk to my dad that long! He even called me this morning to say ‘thank you’!” In reality, she was learning to be interested in her dad, a role reversal from many parent-youth relationships. 

In PML, we creatively learn a skill, practice a skill, but then say, “Go, use this skill.” The beauty is that the line between practice and real-life is very thin. Practice becomes, and already is, real life. I have come to believe that helping families enter into personal faith practice can effectively come from the leadership of youth!

Teaching usable repeatable skills to youth is not limited to Peer Ministry Leadership. One of my favorite experiences was with a group of confirmation youth who did a series using Candle Time prayers. When we finished, the youth wanted to teach these to others. They decided to set up a table in their coffee area after their church service, invited one or two families at a time to come to the table, led them in a creative prayer experience, and then gave them a handout they could use to repeat the experience in their home. Youth were teaching families how to pray! 

These same youth went on to lead the Candle Time sessions the following year with the new confirmation students. Assume youth can and will pass on faith to others. They need solid experiences that they can repeat.

Living Room Summit: This is a conference, literally held in living rooms, with the belief that  we should teach family ministry in the place that we want ministry to end up, in the family living room! See coupon below for more details.

One of the elements of the LRS is taught by Andrea Griner. Her theme is this, “Don’t expect families to do anything that they have not first practiced hands-on.” Her method is to gather families, each family with their own space, and facilitate experiences that they can repeat at home.  Facilitate is a key word. Andrea facilitates families hands-on, face-to-face. She always allows the families to do the work, rather than her teaching or lecturing. She applies this methodology in programs called Faith Families and Milestones, as well as in confirmation.

Bringing families together, side-by-side, facilitated directly, equally learning from each other, parents leading youth, and youth leading parents, is the most effective approach I have seen. I am a bit biased, but as someone who worked for The Youth & Family Institute for over 12 years, I saw a lot. Let me repeat, this is the most effective program that I have seen.

Applications! 

1 Begin by assuming that youth can influence the faith of their families.

2 When training Peer Ministry Leadership, challenge youth to practice skills in homes.

3 Give youth specific faith practices and allow them to teach these to others.

4 Use every opportunity to gather families to learn side-by-side and face-to-face with each other.

5 Facilitate faith experiences in your congregation, so that they can be repeated at home.

6 Come to the LIVING ROOM SUMMIT, to develop specific ways to lead family ministry.

7 Collect faith resources you can use to facilitate repeatable experiences, such as CANDLE TIME TOOL KIT, HEART IGNITE, and SCRIPTURE TALK.